Finding friendships & you again in parenthood

By Jess, Co-Owner and Director, First Time Mum

Becoming a parent - whether for the first time or again; has a way of quietly rearranging your entire world. Your routines shift, your priorities change, and somewhere in-between the blur of feeds, naps, and logistics, it’s easy to feel like the version of you that existed before, has slipped out of reach. Alongside that, friendships can feel harder to maintain, let alone build. But finding your way back to yourself and connecting with others - is an essential - for your sanity & your families! 

One of the biggest hurdles is accepting that friendship looks different in this season. Spontaneous late-night plans may be replaced by pram walks or quick coffees squeezed between naps. That doesn’t make those connections less meaningful - just different. In fact, there’s something uniquely grounding about bonding with someone who understands why you’re celebrating a full night’s sleep like it’s a major life achievement.

If you’re a new parent, you might feel like everyone else already has their “people.” If you’re a repeat parent, you may find your old friendships don’t quite align with your new & current reality. Either way, the trick is to lower the pressure. You don’t need a huge social circle - you just need a few genuine connections. Start small: a chat at a baby group, a message to someone you met at the park, or even reconnecting with an old friend who’s in a similar stage of life.

This is where things like Boom events can make a real difference. Designed with parents in mind, by busy first time mums, who are still finding new friendships every step of the way. They offer a relaxed, welcoming space to meet others without the awkwardness or pressure that can sometimes come with organised meetups. They’re low cost, easy going, and built around you, to give you that well deserved night off from the kids. You can turn up as you are, have a chat, and leave feeling a little more connected than when you arrived, along with a new piece of art. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to turn a familiar face into a new friend. Or just a chance to catch up with friends without the kids running around your feet.

Equally important is reconnecting with yourself. Parenthood can be all-consuming, but you’re still a whole person outside of it. Carving out even small moments - reading a few pages of a book, going for a solo walk, or picking up a hobby you enjoy - can help you feel more like “you” again. It’s not about reclaiming your old identity entirely, but about integrating who you were with who you’re becoming. Having that 'you' time is all the more important as it stops you from burning the candle at both ends, and a happy parent results in happier kids. 

You time can appear in many forms; whether you are a solo parent that you watch a series to yourself when the kids are in bed with no interruption, or you hit the gym whilst they are in bed and the other parent is at home. 

There’s also a quiet power in honesty. Saying “I’m finding this a bit lonely” or “I’d love to meet up more” can feel vulnerable, but it often opens the door for deeper, more authentic connections. Chances are, the person you’re talking to feels the same way.

This phase of life can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Friendships may take a little more intention now, and your sense of self may evolve, but both are still very much within reach. With time, patience, and a bit of courage, you’ll not only find your people—you’ll start to feel like yourself again, too.

I found the app 'peanut' helpful in finding new friends also reaching out to old school friends that I'd lost touch with. You'd be amazed the stuff you end up talking about ...

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